City of Shadows
by onlycaptainswan
Summary: "It's my fault he got hurt," Clary whispered. "No it's not," Simon assured her as he wrapped an arm across her shoulders. "It is, and there's nothing I can do to take his pain away." She answered and Simon shook his head. "He knows you love him, it's OK"
1. Chapter 1

Jace stood in front of Clary, blocking her view of what was going on ahead. His black shirt clung to his back and his golden hair was matted with blood, sweat, and dirt. Clary's heart pound in her chest and she feared he might hear it. This was the first time they'd let her come along on a demon hunt since her training was started and she didn't want him to think that she wasn't ready. She swallowed the pit rising in her throat and took a step to the side so that she was standing next to Jace, rather than hiding behind him. He peeked at her out of the corner of his eye and a small smile played on his lips.

"You doing okay there Miss 'if you can do it, I can do it'?" he asked playfully while keeping his eyes straight forward.

"'m fine," she mumbled. Her hand gripped the seraph blade which hung on her belt. The past few weeks of training flickered past her eyes. The sound of the blade as it slid out of her belt, how tight she gripped it, how far over her shoulder she held it, the steps to take when manoeuvring the weapon. There were precise steps for everything it seemed, but did it really matter? She'd imagined herself being approached by a demon and she knew that with out thinking she'd do whatever she could to make it out alive.

"What's taking them so long?" Jace wondered out loud. He sounded more annoyed than worried which shocked Clary for a second, but then she remembered that Jace had been doing this almost his entire life and he must have been used to it. They'd been standing in an alley way waiting for Alec and Isabelle to chase the demon in where they'd trap it with the dead end. There the four of them would finish it off. "I can't wait any longer, I'm going to go see if they're coming," he said turning towards her.

"Okay, let's go," she answered walking forward.

"Hang on Clary. I know you aren't going to like this but I want you to stay here," he said firmly as he caught her by the arm.

"You're joking right? I haven't been in training for weeks just to stay back here and miss all of the action." Although Clary had been secretly terrified, she did want to finally be involved. The few runes that crawled along her back seemed to once again be burning as the anxiety built up. This _was_ what she wanted; to be a shadow hunter. It was in her blood and now she was finally part of something bigger than herself.

"Exactly. You've only been in training for a few weeks. The rest of us have been doing this for years. You're not ready Clary, I want you to stay back." Although Jace hadn't intended to hurt Clary, his words stung stronger than the runes.

"But I am ready!" Clary exclaimed, tightening her grip on the blade. "You said just the other day that I was a natural."

"You were fighting against people who would never actually hurt you, not demons that could _kill_ you," his last words came out choked and Clary felt a pang in her chest. Of course she knew that all he wanted was for her to be safe. "Please, just listen to me this one time." His eyes burned with intensity and Clary's throat tightened as she looked for the right words.

"Okay," she replied.

Without a word Jace took another step closer until they were hardly an inch apart. His hand lifted her chin and their lips met, slowly parting together. Clary's breath caught but all too soon he pulled away.

"I thought that shadow hunters never say goodbye," Clary said a little breathlessly. Her cheeks flushed when she realized what just one kiss did to her.

"That wasn't goodbye. That was merely a 'till next time'," he answered smiling. "Now promise me that no matter what, you'll stay here until we come and get you."

"I promise," she answered. With a smile, Jace turned around and walked to the end of the alley where he disappeared.

After a few minutes of pacing back and forth, Clary decided to follow. She walked around the corner of the building and instantly spotted the others where they stood in the middle of an empty street. Clary stopped immediately in her tracks when she saw what they were up against. Recognition hit her when she saw the large lizard like creature. It was the first demon she'd ever seen, back in the apartment where it'd attacked and poisoned her.

Without thinking she drew her sword out of her belt, making a loud screech from the metal against metal. Isabelle glanced behind her wide eyed as if she'd known who it would be.

"Clary, what are you doing here!" she yelled.

Jace and Alec bother turned to look but Clary had barely noticed. The demon they'd been fighting was staring straight at her. With a hiss it scampered after her and for a split second Clary thought she saw the creature's mouth curl up into a sickening smile.

She felt her legs go numb but before her mind could tell her legs to move, another hard creature knocked into her throwing her off her feet. It was Jace she realized, and before she could scream the demon jumped at him and sent him flying through the air.

Usually in movies, things like this were slowed down, Clary thought, but the images passing by her were so quick, she hardly knew what was going on. She hit the ground with a thump and a yelp as her head hit the hard road. For a few seconds, she knew she'd blacked out. Her vision had gone prickly and a loud shrieking noise sounded in her ears.

She lay on the ground as her eye sight returned for a few seconds, only to see a still mound lying on the ground in the distance. Clary silently begged for Jace to move just an inch as her vision went completely black.


	2. Chapter 2

"I don't understand," Clary said shaking her head. "He should have been able to land that." She rolled over on the bed and looked at Simon who stood, staring through the window.

He looked at her suddenly, and the sun reflected off of his face. He stood unharmed in the light which should have scorched him with contact. "I guess he was in shock," he answered, the light glistening off of his hair.

Clary shook her head. "Not Jace, he's always ready." She looked down at the pile of her clothes on his floor. With a pang in her chest she realized how much he would have hated to see a mess in his bedroom. She sat up, picked up the clothes and started folding them neatly on her lap. Her hands shook and a lump seemed to rise in her throat.

Simon crossed the room and sat down next to her. He leaned over and grabbed her wrists, stopping her from what she was doing. "It's okay," he whispered.

Clary looked at him and realized for the first time that her eyes were tearing up.

"It's my fault he got hurt," she choked out as the tears spilled over on her cheeks.

"No it's not," Simon said reassuringly. Although Clary knew that he was just trying to make her feel better, it helped.

"It is, and there's nothing I can do to take his pain away," Simon was shaking his head before she could finish.

"He knows you love him, it's ok" he answered.

She stared into his eyes and looked for a sign that said otherwise, but his face was covered in nothing but sincerity.

"I need to go see him," she said firmly.

"I know, and we'll go as soon as they say we can, but for now you should lie down. You hit your head pretty hard," he said steadily as he took the clothes out of her hands and placed them on Jace's bedside table.

"You'll wake me up when someone lets us know what's going on right?" she asked.

"Of course," Simon answered. He walked over to the window once again and closed the blinds, filling the room with darkness. "Get some rest," Clary heard him say although she was already half consumed by her dreams.

Simon shut the door trying to make as little noise as possible, and breathed a sigh of relief. As much as he hated to admit it, being with Clary for the past twenty four hours had been a downer. He found himself walking towards Isabelle's room without even giving it a thought.

He walked through the winding hallways of the institute and paused when he got to her door. What would she think when she saw him? Would they have the same encounter they had when Max died? His mouth twitched remembering that day, although it was clear that she'd only wanted to forget about what had happened. Had he come to Isabelle's room because he was hoping to have another one of those encounters? No, Simon thought, he was just going to make sure that she was ok and then he'd go and see if there was any news on Jace's condition.

He raised his fist to knock on the door but it opened before he could do so. Isabelle stood in the door way, her wet lashes clumped together surrounding her red eyes.

"I was hoping you'd come," she said with a small smile.

Oh god, Simon thought, what did that mean?

"Oh," was all he could say and he felt stupid as soon as the word left his mouth.

Isabelle grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into the room, swinging the door shut behind him. There she let go of him and sat down on the bed, leaving Simon standing with a shocked look on his face.

"Any news?" she asked with a hopeful face.

"Actually, I was hoping you could let me know what was going on," Simon replied.

"The demon bit him, and the poison reacted with his blood," she answered with burning eyes. "He's really sick. I don't know what to do."

So that was why Jace couldn't land it, Simon realized.

"Isn't there something Magnus can do?" he asked.

"He's trying everything he can, but he's never seen anything like this. It's more serious than we thought," she said sadly.

"I'm sure he'll be ok." Although Simon had never been very fond of Jace, he did feel bad. Worse than he thought he would, though he'd never admit it. "It's Jace, he's always ok."

"He has to be." Isabelle swallowed, "I can't lose another one of my siblings."

Simon walked over to her bed and sat down beside her. Their legs grazed and Simon knew that if he still had a pulse, it would have quickened. Much to his dismay, he realized that Isabelle's heart beat had sped up. It pounded in his ears like the beat of the drum, its music filling the room-

Isabelle leaned against Simon and placed her head in the crook of his neck. His breath caught and he froze, and then he brought his arm around her shoulders.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" she asked.

Simon thought for a moment before answering. He'd promised Clary that he'd wake her up when he found out what was going on, but it'd be better to find out from Magnus, and probably more accurate. And besides, it would be better to let Clary sleep. She could wait until tomorrow, he thought.

"Sure," he replied.

Isabelle shifted on the bed and lay down. In the darkness he felt her place a hand on his back. "Lay down with me," she whispered sweetly, and he did as he was told.

"Where are your parents?" he asked.

"Don't tell me you're scared of them walking in on us laying on my bed," she said as her soft giggles filled his ears. "Relax, they'll be with Jace all night."

"I promised Clary I would come back to her room," he answered. His eyes were wide even in the darkness.

"Clary needs her rest," Isabelle's voice was soothing and raised bumps on Simon's arms, "I just want someone to stay by my side."

"I will," Simon said as he wrapped his arms around her slim waist and pulled her closer to him until their chest were toughing. He felt hers rising slowly against him and closed his eyes, trying memorize everything about that single moment.

"Simon?" she whispered.

"Yes?" he asked and a moment went by before she answered, as if she'd hesitated and decided to say something else.

"Thank you."


	3. Chapter 3

"Clary? Wake up," a soft voice whispered. Clary heard the words form, still entranced in her dreams. The sweet voice said it again, this time touching her arm gently. Clary's eyes opened and she stared up at her mom sitting in the darkness.

"Mom, what is it? Is Jace ok?" Already Clary's heart sped up, as if it could tell that bad news was coming.

"Yes, he's fine. Well no better, but no worse," Jocelyn replied. Clary noted that even in the night she could see the redness of her mom's hair.

"Well than what is it?" she asked sitting up in the bed. The blankets wrapped around her held her arms together and she struggled to set them free, for the first time noticing how hot it was.

"There was something I wanted to talk to you about," Jocelyn said as she pulled her hair out of her face, "I know you aren't going to like this, but you need to at least hear me out."

Clary swallowed hard and felt her brows pull together.

"After the wedding, I want you to go back to New York." Clary heart dropped instantly.

"What! I don't want to go back to New York. I want to stay here," she answered.

"I know you do, but it's just not what I think is best for you. I don't want you growing up like this Clary, there's just too big a risk." Jocelyn grabbed hold of Clary hand. "Please Clary, just listen. Luke has decided to keep the book store. You can live there half of the time, and the other half you can live at Simon's house." Clary pulled her hand out of her mom's grasp and tried to ignore the hurt look on her face.

"I can't live at Simon's. What would his mom say to that?" Clary exclaimed.

"Magnus could cast a spell on her. She'll simply think I'm away on a vacation or something."

"No. I'm not doing this." Clary shook her head and jumped out of bed.

"Clary, it isn't as if you won't be able to come back to the institute. And you'll see Luke and I constantly-"

"What about Jace? He needs me! You can't make me leave when he needs me most," Clary's hands shook. Her breathing was shallow and her dry eyes watered. The back of her neck prickled and her clothes stuck to her moist skin.

"Jace has plenty of people taking care of him. And I'm sure he'll be better in no time, maybe even before the wedding," her mom said cheerfully.

"The wedding is a week from now!" Clary shouted.

"Bottom line is Jace doesn't need you here," Clary flinched at the words but her mom continued as if she hadn't seen, "and you definitely don't need him."

She doesn't know, Clary told herself, she wasn't there to see you torn by him. Just keep calm.

"Yes he does, and yes I do. What is this even about! Is this because you don't want me in danger, or because you don't want me near Jace?" Clary demanded.

"Both, I think" Her mom smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry Clary, but there's just something about that boy. Like there's something dark inside of him"

"Okay, I don't know where you've been these past few weeks, but Jace isn't Valentines son," Clary said each word separately as if she was talking to someone who didn't know English very well.

"Yes I know, but he was still raised by Valentine. He knew Valentine like no one else did, and as much as he may not want to admit it, he still has a bit of Valentine in him." Jocelyn explained.

Clary stood in the middle of the room, her hands clenched to her sides, and breathed deeply. She'd known her mom wasn't fond of Jace, but she hadn't expected her to say anything.

"In which case we should pity Jace, not be scared of him!" Clary shouted uncontrollably.

"I still don't like him Clary, that boy has a bitter soul," Jocelyn replied. At that Clary had to laugh. Her mom looked shocked and stared at her daughter as if she'd gone insane.

"He has a bitter soul? Since when can you see what lies with in? The last time I checked, you were the one who fell in love with a psychopath," Clary felt her face go red with heat. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been this angry at anyone.

"That's why I'm telling you to leave now. I always wished I'd listened to those who told me to leave when I could."

"Mom, I'm pretty sure that Jace isn't planning on eradicating an entire race any time soon or in the future," Clary countered.

"I would have said that about Valentine in the beginning as well," Jocelyn answered as Clary starred at her gaping.

"This is ridiculous," Clary said as she rubbed her temples, "Is this because you fear Jace is internally evil or because you just don't want me to be happy?"

"Now that's ridiculous. You know all I want is to see you happy, which is why I'm trying to do what's best for you. No one said that you won't still be able to see Jace, you just won't be fighting along side him or anyone anymore. This is for the best Clary, I promise. I'm doing this because I don't want you to get hurt, whether it's by a demon or Jace," Jocelyn said with a tone of finality.

"But I'm willing to take the risks. Why won't you just let me learn from my mistakes like every other parent?" Clary demanded.

"Because in this world, sometimes you don't get the chance to learn from them," Jocelyn said pulling her curly hair to one side.

"I'm going to go see Jace," Clary said flatly as she turned to leave.

**I know, I know, still no Jace. But I promise he'll be in the next chapter. Please review and let me know what you think and I'll try and get the next chapter up ASAP. **


	4. Chapter 4

"I can't believe my mom" Clary said shaking her head, "Jace could d-" She cut herself off, unable to say the word.

"She's just trying to do what's best for you," Isabelle replied. They were walking through the halls, nearing the infirmary. "She doesn't want you to make the same mistake she did."

"Being with Jace is not a mistake," Clary said firmly.

"I guess she just wants you to make sure. You can't blame her for being protective Clary, I mean in a way she's right," Isabelle walked on ignoring the surprised look Clary gave her. "In the world we know and live in, there's no room for mistakes."

"That doesn't mean there's room for close mindedness," Clary mumbled.

"Just relax," Isabelle replied, "you're going to see Jace now remember."

"Right," Clary replied as she bit her lip. She hadn't realized how nervous she'd been to see him. All this time she'd been feeling anxious because no one allowed her to see Jace, but now her palms were sweating and she felt restless.

What if I say something in front of him that makes him feel worse, Clary thought. What if he doesn't even want to see me?-

"Are you okay? You're looking paler than usual," Isabelle said, interrupting her thought.

"Has Jace asked for me at all?" Clary asked.

"I wouldn't know, I haven't been allowed to see him either," Isabelle answered, "Although I wouldn't doubt it."

Clary smiled at that, hoping she was right.

"I still don't understand why they wouldn't let us," Clary said, "See him, I mean."

"I guess they thought we'd get in the way," Isabelle replied. "I can't wait for my next birthday. Maybe everyone will stop treating me like I'm a little kid."

"You're lucky. I still have two more years till I can even hope for that," Clary said glumly.

"I think this is it," Isabelle said stopping in her tracks and turning to the last door in the hallway. "Are we going to go in separately, or together?" she asked.

"I think we should do it separately," Clary answered. She knew that having someone there with her could be supporting but it could also be awkward.

"Sounds good," Isabelle replied, "Listen, I don't know what state Jace is going to be in but you have to promise me something."

Clary swallowed hard and looked up at her, for the first time noticing how she looked. Her hair was up in a messy bun and her makeupless face looked more tired than usual. Clary felt a pang in her chest when she realized for the first time that she wasn't the only one hurting over this. She felt her face go red over her selfishness and had to look away.

"What?" she asked as she cleared her dry throat.

"Promise me that you won't cry in front of him," Isabelle said quietly. "You'll wait until you get out of the room. If you have to, tell him you're going to the washroom. Just don't break down in front of him. He needs you to be strong Clary."

Clary nodded, not quite sure if she meant it, and turned to open the door.

Inside she saw that the room was much bigger than she thought it'd be. It was longer than it was wide, and at the end of it was a bed. It was dark inside of the room but she could see a silhouette standing at the foot of the bed.

Her heart sped up at the sight and she was enveloped with hope. If he was standing, he must be getting better. He's going to be ok, Clary thought with relief. As soon as she saw the figure, she found herself quickly walking towards him.

She called his name, half wondering why he hadn't turned at the sound of footsteps.

Jace turned his head and much to Clary's dismay she saw that it wasn't Jace at all-

She stopped in her tracks, unable to contain the loud gasp which escaped her lips.

"Oh," was all she could say as she took in the sight. The man standing at the foot of the bed turned completely now and he looked just as shocked as Clary did.

As he turned, Clary caught a glimpse of a mound laying on the bed. With a sharp constriction of her heart, she realized that it was Jace, curled into a tiny ball.

"I'm sorry. I believe you've mistaken me for this young man." His voice was thick and deep, and he spoke with a British accent.

With Clary standing closer she realized that he looked nothing like Jace, besides his tall form. He had light brown hair, a rounded face, and sun kissed skin. He walked towards Clary with a friendly smile on his face and extended his hand.

"Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Liam York, and I'm guessing that you're Clary Fray. A pleasure to finally meet you," he said cheerfully.

"Yes, I am," Clary replied with a confused tone. "I don't mean to sound rude, but why are you here?"

Liam chuckled as he pulled his hair out of his face.

"I'm a warlock and when I heard about what'd happened to Jace I came to see if maybe I knew something about it so that I could help," he replied.

"And do you?" Clary asked impatiently.

"Unfortunately, no I do not. But I'm working along side Magnus Bane and we're doing everything we can to figure this out." Liam turned back to Jace's bed and grabbed a clip board off of the table. "I'll give you some privacy," he said as he then walked past her and exited the room.

Clary stood in confusion for a moment-

"Clary?" a small raspy voice called.

She barely recognized it, but she knew who it'd come from. Clary walked towards the bed as she nervously twirled a piece of her hair.

"I'm here Jace," she whispered as she walked closer.

She saw that he was curled on the bed, his eyes closed tight, his fist clenching the sheets.

"Clary," he repeated. His voice was so quiet, it was barely audible.

Clary slowly sat down in the chair by his bed as she took in the sight of him. His forehead glistened with sweat and his hair was pulled back haphazardly. He looked so vulnerable, Clary winced seeing him.

He's like this because of me, she thought.

His eyes were open suddenly. Clary immediately realized why they looked so different. They were a light, almost silvery color, rather than his usual gold. They matched his ashen complexion. His eyes searched her face and Clary tried to conceal her shock. Nothing could have prepared her for this and she felt her face twitch.

Jace's chapped lips twisted up into a smile. He let go of the sheets and held his hand up right on the bed. Clary immediately took it and forced a smile on her face.

"I'm glad you came," Jace's voice was thick and crackly.

"I-I would have come sooner-" Clary started but her voice broke before she could finish.

"I know. It's okay," Jace stopped to clear his throat, "I'm just glad that you came."

"Of course I did Jace. Why wouldn't I?" Clary's throat tightened up and she difficulty swallowed back a sob. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

Jace's face twisted up in pain. "Clary, please don't." Jace's eyes fluttered shut and for a moment Clary thought he had fallen asleep. "I'm just glad that you're ok."

But you're not, Clary wanted to say, and it's all my fault. I should have listened, I shouldn't have broken your promise. It's my fault that this is happening-

"I'm going to figure this out. I'll do everything I can-"

"Clary," Jace said cutting her off, "I'm not putting the blame on you. You know that right? I don't expect you to fix me." Jace's eyes shined as he licked his dry lips.

"But it's my fault. I promised you I'd stay right there and I didn't because I'm an idiot,"

"Clary, stop!" Jace demanded weakly, "What do you want me to say? That you're right, that it is your fault, that none of this would have happened had you not been there?" His eyes burned intensely and he was suddenly trying to sit up. He clenched his teeth and gasped-

"Jace!" Clary said as she got up and gently pushed him back down. He sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth and gently brushed his hand across her arm.

"I love you and all that matters is that you're ok," Jace said quietly, "Nothing you could have done would have stopped me from making sure you were safe. I would have put myself in between you and a thousand demons. Why don't you understand, I don't care what happens to me, as long as you're ok, so am I."

Clary broke his smouldering gaze and looked across the room. She felt a hot tear escape her eye and instantly despised herself for it.

"This is the part were you say something cocky so that I can call you a jerk and make things easier on myself," Clary replied.

"Or you can kiss my pain away for a few minutes," he said with a grin.

Clary pretended to scratch her face as she whipped another tear away, then leaned in and slowly pressed her lips against his.

"You know what I just realized," Jace whispered against her lips.

"Hmm?"

"I think I'm the only person on the planet who can be sick as hell and still be sexy," he said confidently.

"Jerk," Clary mumbled as he chuckled softly.


End file.
